The Solution
by ChronicallyinFlaming
Summary: Written for mass kink meme. Due to time constraints, Liara and Shepard find themselves having to find creative ways of having an alone moment. Even when other people are there.


**The Prompt: ****M!Shep/Liara**_** - Jizzed in my pants**_

_Here's the set up: These two are horny as all hell, but can't get enough alone time to do the deed properly. The solution? Make each other cum in their pants._

_Yep, Liara and Shepard finding some corner that's away from prying eyes (or not!) and rubbing each other out to the point of orgasm._

**The Fill:**

* * *

After the second time, Shepard realized the first time was definitely on purpose. There was no logical reason to just walk around with her biotics wrapped around an equally blue hand. Then reaching out to grab Shepard's crotch, leaving him shocked and gaping as he felt that vibration, encircling him firmly, and her bringing him off with a few short jerks of that perfect hand definitely could not be an accident.

If it had been in anyway unplanned, she might have done more than walk around without a second glance, saying only, "Goodbye Commander."

While he remained on his knees, grabbing at the flat bed. Behind them, the Doctor was searching for something, and he had to physically pry himself to his feet before she noticed. Even so, she commented on his flush and way he walked. Thank god he wore dark pants. Even so, he felt reluctant to put on jeans.

The last time he'd worn them Liara had found him in the kitchen, and under the guise of looking for a spoon, ended up getting him off while he held a box of cereal. Of a brand that would now forever be associated with over-the-pants handjobs. That poor smiling Zebra that informed its customers of how many vitamins were within was forever tainted. There was a lot of human suffering in the galaxy right now, and walking around in wet jeans only added to that.

His own revenge came when Liara was looking at something important from EDI, concerning the fate of the galaxy, and he'd stolen all of his girlfriend's attention with only one finger sliding neatly beneath her coat and under that tight armor and past the under webbing she wore beneath. "That's really a great find, EDI. What about that thing over there? In that window?" While Liara bit down on a purple lip and shuddered.

As usual, Liara had more dignity about it than Shepard. Who would nearly drool. Every time, he would be left too weak-kneed to walk. Just literally collapse there. Wherever. And need a few seconds to regroup and pull himself up.

EDI kept referring him to Doctor Chakwas for his new inner ear infection.

Every time someone would come up behind him, especially if they might brush against him, Shepard would have a small heart attack. And have to calm himself to prevent an erection—always a vein effort.

Liara would always strike when he had his guard down. Sneaking into his room, when he'd fall asleep at the terminal, so John would wake up to find her playing with him and petting herself. No words necessary. Fucking, even though they were both tired and this chair was so uncomfortable. She definitely must have a feed from the cameras on the Normandy. That, and general skills that not even that Lang guy possessed. She was a silent nubile asari ninja in white that always knew how to strike her target.

Shepard would be alone, and would even ask EDI to cut the cameras from that room, and another one on the other side of the ship, yet he would turn around and there she was, smiling and smug as only the Shadow Broker could be. Or he'd feel something groping him, and look down to find her jerking him off. Those gloves should have been rougher, a deterrent. But they were not, and thus Shepard would find marks from the floor pressed into his cheek. Thank god and goddesses that Liara used her ninja powers for good, otherwise they would all be dead.

The worse time was when she could only touch him, just once or twice, just enough to wipe any clear thought from Shepard's mind, then something would get in the way. Just a touch of the meld so they could both experience each other in a complete way that nothing could compare to, then have that slip away. She could just leave. Still, always, acting polite and nothing more than vaguely interesting. Even when Shepard was trying to only just work, seriously, she would grab his ass for a quick meld and then go talk to Tali or Ashley.

Leaving Shepard a mess that had to escape to his room and hope no one noticed the tent in the front of his pants.

She only mentioned it directly when he just about broke into her room and went down on her as she looked over those never-ending feeds. "This one is hardly a challenge, Shepard."

"Fine. You win. I guess I can just leave."

"If you do, I'll flay you. And not just using my mind."

"A hard taskmaster. Is this normally how you read your reports, Shadow Broker?"

The only time they'd been properly alone in a long time. Otherwise Liara was an inappropriate hand beneath a table, and a smile.

Of course, she couldn't just do this at the Normandy. Nope, Liara wanted them arrested for public indecency. She wanted him to have to explain to the nice C-Sec officer that he was a spectre, and therefore, could get away with this sort of thing. Probably.

He'd never been so okay with a fast ejaculation outside of boot camp and the five minute showers there. Just his jacket taken off and placed in his lap to keep his honor intact as Liara read some datapad and used her omni-tool while the left hand, frankly,_ fucked_ him. Their melding unnoticed by hopefully everywhere, as Shepard ended up leaning into her, resting his head on her shoulder. Then moving his jacket onto her lap so he could pay her back.

And at Purgatory, well, that was half of what those clubs were. Of course, Aria was still pissed, even if she hated this place that she didn't even own, and might not have even seen them on the floor. Or maybe she was just angry at Liara and possibly knew about her being the Shadow Broker. Or she'd seen Shepard dance when he was drunk. His bondmate definitely had, and had been kind about it before dragging him over to the corner, to pull him down onto a chair. Sitting on his lap and looking like a normal girlfriend that wasn't rubbing him off right there. A polite asari that was not melding with the Commander Shepard right there in some bland bar with loud music, and definitely wasn't being fingered by him.

Thankfully, so many were on shore leave that they blended in. No one could definitely hear them whispering to each other, and see Liara's black eyes.

_Need you. Right now. No messing around. _

_Where?_

_Bathroom?_

_Now._

Then it was a scramble off the stool, groping each other, and trying to find the bathroom. It wasn't like Omega, where there were corners and alleys everywhere to snort red sand off the dancers. So much was out in the open. It was a relatively clean bar where hardworking people went to only drink and dance, and Shepard hated Purgatory for it.

A unisex bathroom with door and a lock on it. They didn't even bother to have one go in before the other. Barely managed to look for other people and go into a partition just in case. Desperate grabbing, hoping for something more than a few minutes of masturbation and handjobs. Liara's jacket was perfect for grabbing the edges of as she was bent forward. Nearly hitting her head on the partition that wasn't even marked with much graffiti.

She even helped Shepard tugging down her armor and pants after John's frustrated scream of "how do I get you out of this!"

Too long since he'd had her next to him, since he'd seen so much perfect blue skin that didn't come from a message sent to his omni-tool that drove him further insane. He could think only with the thing poking through his pants that didn't even look like part of him. Just pressing it against her heated skin, rubbing against the cleft of her ass, had them both moaning and her hitting the partition she was balancing against.

So they both nearly fell to the ground when someone opened that door.

"Do I have to turn a hose on you two?" Aria's voice was unmistakable. And disappointed. And amused.

"I didn't know you had it in you, Shepard. Or you, information broker."

"Um."

"At least the bar is more interesting now." Aria somehow made the gesture of looking at her fingernails not a way of avoiding seeing them in this state. "Do you plan on doing this every time you're here?"

Shepard could only look at her, still trying to process what was happening. "Do you mind?"

Which made Aria laugh, even as she gave them a warning of one minute before she send bodyguards in here.

"Why do you even care?" Liara's biotics snapped out in thin blue streams, and it took a lot not to bite her neck from this angle.

Aria didn't need to think on it. "Consider it payback for all the spies that only make this place even more boring."

At least on the Normandy, people become uncomfortable and made excuses to leave when they saw Liara and Shepard trying for intimacy.

"…one minute, did she say?"

"Liara. I don't know."

She pressed herself against him, shifting so the tip of him brushing against her entrance. Still soaking wet. "We can try."

Probably forty seconds. "This isn't going to work."

She was sweaty, practically crying. "Don't be so pessimistic."

"It's normally a good thing I last longer than thirty seconds."

Liara panted. "Fine. Let me get dressed. After you get off. I think Aria was just bluffing."

"Oh, wait. There's no way. You're good, but no way. Okay, that's nice. Great. You look incredible. Fuck, you know it drives me insane to watch you touch yourself." As lovely as her hand normally was, when her fingers and palm were damp from her own moisture, that made it even better. Amazing, despite how technologically advanced they were, this was the best thing in the galaxy. Liara had decided she frankly didn't care if Aria's henchmen saw anything, as her eyes were flicking black.

A new, bad record broken. In that shiny white armor, Shepard slipped right from her arms and landed at a horrible angle with his knee rising to stop his fall. Only his body didn't get the memo to stop there. All those years spent wearing cups and basically cod pieces to not injure that area. For naught. At least he could still have children with Liara.

Eventually, kicking out with his legs to reduce the pain as he'd been taught, he managed out, "Aw, shit, I just fell on my penis."

"_Your_-?

He curled around it, knowing that someone was going to come over soon, it was fate that they be embarrassed this way. He was John Shepard, some savior of the galaxy that had literally died and been brought back, and he was lying on the dirty tile of a public bathroom. With hurt genitals. "Yes."

"I'm sorry. Are you hurt?"

"Uh."

She slapped her forehead. "Of course you are."

"I'm okay." Despite the crumbling horrible pain, Shepard had to grin up at her. "Still worth it."

"Here, let me help you up. I'll make it up to you."

"In private?"

"If you insist."

"At least we know Aria doesn't want to see us have sex."

"Or she was just joking. Since I bet she's recording every second of this. Oh, don't worry, I'll make sure to hack into her system and remove it. Then find a way to bug her apartment."

"You really a ninja, aren't you? A perfect ninja."

"Shepard, I think you hit your head too. The, um, other one."

"But it doesn't matter. Because you're here, and you'll find a way to make everything fine again. No, I'm not just talking about my penis. In general. I love you."

"I love you too. But we should probably leave, because the guards are standing right by the door."

"Normandy?"

Liara helped him up, and Shepard handed her pieces of her armor. "My room or yours?"


End file.
